Today is my 21st birthday and I have been doing far more reflecting on this day than I have on other birthdays. This is the first birthday where I am completely away from my family and my best friends. It's a scary thought and I have never been a big fan of birthdays, but my reflection over the past week has had a lot to do with who I have become in these past 21 years. So in honor of this day, I have decided to talk about the 21 lessons I have learned in life so far.
1. Don't let go of the passion you created when you were a child.
Growing up is hard and it's important to be a kid sometimes. Listen to the music and watch the films you enjoyed when you were younger. And always, always hold onto the starry eyed feelings you had when you were little. The likelihood of achieving your dreams doesn't change as you grow older, it's the social normalities that change your outlook on the likelihood of achieving those dreams. Don't let others change what you want to do.
2. Put yourself out there, even if it ends up hurting.
Leaving your comfort zone is hard, but it important that you do it. By crossing that boundary, you will be able to experience more than you can ever imagine. In all new experiences, there is always something to be learned. Whether things turn out good or in complete ruins, you will become a stronger person having put yourself through it.
3. Remember to unplug for a little while.
Turn off your phone, take out your headphones and absorb your surroundings. Some of the best life experiences happen when you look up from your screen every once and a while. Don't let them pass by.
4. Don't identify who you are through someone else.
Don't ever feel like you need validation from someone else to be who you are. Self validation is the only thing that matters. If you love who you are than that is what's important and any person that can't support who you are isn't worth the time. And never change who you are to accommodate another being. Altering yourself to conform to what they think is acceptable is only hurting yourself, if you aren't who they want you to be than they are only going to cast negativity on your life.
5. Dingy, used clothing are good for the soul.
Search and dig through hole in the wall stores for clothes that have stories to tell. There is nothing better than putting on a worn-in sweater knowing that it had a past life before it came into yours.
6. Don't let your anxiety get in the way.
Anxiety is a powerful thing and can take over whether we want it to or not. Finding ways to cope and deal with anxiety will make your world a whole lot brighter. Conquer those feelings and go out and meet people, walk through a foreign city by yourself and don't be afraid of the situations that might arise in the future.
7. It's okay to be sad sometimes.
A good cry never hurt anyone. Miss your loved ones, long to cuddle with your cat and don't be afraid to let out all of the emotions you are keeping inside. Sadness is a normal emotion that shouldn't drag you down and you should never be ashamed of it.
8. Try to not hide your emotions so much.
Bring down that exterior wall every once and a while and let people know how you are feeling. Dealing with your emotions alone can be alienating and while you may think it's cool to mask your emotions 24/7, it will start to wear you down in the long run. Opening up to others is scary, but it can be one of the most liberating things you do.
9. Eat the ice cream, it won't kill you.
Too much time is wasted editing what you eat. Grab that big cup of ice cream and don't be afraid to eat it all. Ice cream is good for the soul and it's what we all need every once and a while (or seven times a week).
10. Family is everything.
These are the people you need in your life. Family is always there for you when you are going through something or if you just need a good fucking laugh. They are what makes you truly happy in life and what keeps you from feeling alone in the world. Cherish them and love them with all you have - their support is everything.
11. Learning new and different perspectives changes you in so many good ways.
The greatest way to enrich your life is gaining an understanding and perspective of others. From young to old, poor to rich and every ethnicity in the world, listening to the stories of others is one of the ways you have learned to grow as a human being. Never in a million years did you think a group of kids would change your life. The kids are the future and their opinions are valid so always find time to listen to what they have to say.
12. Never let go of those childhood friends.
They have been there through it all and will always be people you can turn to when things are going to shit. Find time in your busy schedule to talk to them and always reunite when you are all in the same city. The trips down memory lane will always be one of the happiest things you do with them and they bring an invaluable presence into your life.
13. Learn to let go of the things that aren't working.
Trying to force things in your life that just aren't working will only leave you stressed and upset. Even though it may hurt at first, letting go of the things and situations that are causing negativity in your life will be one of the best things you do. You will grow from every situation and moving on from the past will help you cleanse for the future.
14. Never delete those humiliating old photos.
Always keep the photos you wish no one would ever see again. Not only will they give you a good laugh, but they are markers of the past that will help you remember the good times you have had and the great life you were given. Keep every single one. Embrace who you were and never be ashamed of your past.
15. Always take print photographs.
Physically holding a photograph is an art that is getting lost as time goes on. Opening up your box of film photographs and flipping through each image will give you more joy than any Instagram account will. Taking these photos and keeping them safe is important for remembering the events you have lived through and the people you don't want to forget.
16. Music can be the best comfort a human can ask for.
Music will always be there for you. Keep it as one of the centers of your life for it will bring you solace even during the most difficult times in your life.
17. Cherish (and take more) family vacations.
Never dread a second you get to spend with your family, especially the ones you only see once a year. Spend less time inside and more time outside running around with them because these years will be some of the only few where they are all together with you.
18. Always go to more concerts. There is no such thing as too many.
Go to as many gigs as possible because they are what bring you so much joy. Go to bands you've never heard or see a band for the seventeenth time. It doesn't matter! Just go to them and get lost in the crowd and meet people who are there for the same reason you are. Live music is one of the most powerful art forms out there so experience it as much as possible.
19. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Let go of the little things that are casting dark clouds on your life and always look on the bright side of things. Dwelling on things that are going wrong will only cause you to miss out on the positives in life. Laugh more and never hold onto the situations and people that are causing little negative bumps in your life. Always remember that you have a good life and there is no reason you shouldn't be smiling.
20. Say "I love you" always.
A phrase you never say enough so make sure to say it more to the people that mean something to you. It can never be said too many times and it's important to know that the current people in your life mean something to you and you don't take them for granted. It's a small phrase with so much meaning, you don't want to miss the chance to say it before it's too late.
21. Do you.
Keep being the person you want to be and don't let others tell you that you are inauthentic. Let them hold their misconceptions about you, but don't let what they think get in the way of being who you want to be. Express yourself even if people will think you're a bitch, do things you want to do and be the independent person you were born to be. Life is too short to be wasted on what people think about you (you've already wasted 21 years, honey).
Hope all is well.
Just love me:
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